


No Holding Back

by inlovewiththeuswnt



Series: How to Build a Life Together [2]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, USWNT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:58:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6242137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewiththeuswnt/pseuds/inlovewiththeuswnt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Don't Fight It. </p><p>It starts pretty much right where "Don't Fight It" left off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

November 16th was the day Alex and Tobin pledged their love to each other after only technically dating for eight months. Now they have to handle married life while maintaining their superstar statuses and keeping up with the job they love: soccer. 

***

"Babe, we have to go now or else we are gonna miss our flight!" Alex frantically yelled upstairs as she double-checked her suitcase. Tobin came running down the steps, almost tripping on the last one, "Alright we're good, Kona is with Sincy, all my stuff is in the car already, you're still married to me, yep we can go."

Alex shook her head in disbelief and planted a light kiss on the corner of Tobin's mouth, "After three weeks, you still act like we aren't actually married." 

Tobin let her fingers trace down Alex's arm before intertwining their fingers, "Because I still think this whole thing is too good to be true and that I'm gonna wake up just to realize it was a dream," she used her free hand to tap one finger on her lips, "But just to make sure it isn't a dream, I think you should give me a kiss." Alex couldn't believe that she married a dork but nonetheless she obliged and gently kissed her wife. Tobin clicked her tongue, shaking her head, "Nope I still think I'm dreaming I'm gonna need another one, Mrs. Alex Heath-Morgan." 

"How bout you take a rain check on that kiss and when we land in Hawaii, I'll show you just how real this is?" She gestured to her whole body and started leading Tobin out the door, "Deal?"

Tobin couldn't help but smirk, "Deal."

*** 

The flight to Hawaii was a little over eight hours but Tobin and Alex kept themselves entertained with monop-deal, stealing small kisses, and sleeping. Most of the gals were suppose to land today and then they had a day or two to themselves before they had to get to training. The team had the whole month of November off  
so most of them spent the month on vacation or with loved ones.

***

Alex was fast asleep when the plane landed, "Lex, wake up," Tobin shook her gently and eventually her wife began to strike awake, "Back to bed, Toby." Even though Tobin hated that name, she couldn't help but smile when it came from Alex's lips, "We're on the ground, we need to get off and get to the hotel." When Alex finally opened her eyes, she noticed almost the entire plane was already off but before she could ask Tobin spoke up, "I wanted to let you sleep as long as you can, so come on."

Grabbing their carry-ons, they made their way out of the gate only to be swarmed by around ten reporters. Ever since their wedding, they haven't really been in the public eye and even though everyone knew they were together and were getting married, it still seemed like a huge deal especially since the World Cup was over. Tobin protectively wrapped an arm tightly around Alex's waist as they posed for a few photos. 

A few reporters wanted interviews but neither one were in the mood to so they politely denied. Once outside, they found their chauffeur and piled into the backseat, "Oh Hawaii, how I love you," Tobin sighed while leaning back against the seats. Alex laid her head on Tobin's shoulder as they started to move down the streets, "Who do you love more? Me or Hawaii?" Tobin laughed at the question and gave Alex a kiss on the forehead, "You, of course, I love nothing more than you." 

The rest of the drive was practically silent since both of them were tired and had to mentally prepare for their teammates. Once they arrived at the hotel, they ran right into Jill and Dawn. "Ah one set of the newlyweds, first congrats on the marriage and second, we've decided as coaches to not room you two together." 

"What?" The pair responded with. 

Jill laughed at the couple's reaction, "Trust me, you two didn't do anything wrong but since there a lot of new call ups, we've decided that we don't there to be a separation between old and new so almost every rooming pair is broken up this trip well except Hope and Kelley are still rooming together."

That was a reasonable explanation but Alex was curious about the last part, "We understand and it's no big deal but may I ask why Hope and Kelley aren't broken up?"

"Because I think I'm gonna move Kelley back to an outside back and even though they are together romantically, I want to make sure that Hope still trusts her like she did in 2012."

Alex took that as an acceptable answer; they both said their goodbyes before heading up to Tobin's room since they were most likely the first ones there, "Did Jill or Dawn say who are roommates are?" Tobin asked and Alex shook her head no. They suspected right and Tobin's room was completely empty so Alex sat down onto the bed, "I understand why Jill isn't putting us together but I'm still sad about." Then there was that pout. The pout that made Tobin feel awful for whatever previously happened and made her heart cry in pain. She knew Alex was gonna be sad that they weren't together but Tobin can tell that it means a lot more to her. Sleeping in the same bed together for several months and all of sudden that routine is stripped away. Tobin wanted to run downstairs and beg to Jill not to split them up but at the same time she knows Ashlyn and Ali are a lot of the times split up so they just have to deal with it. 

"Tobin?" Alex questioned snapping her out of her thoughts, "Did you hear me?"

Tobin sheepishly sat down on the bed next to her, "No, sorry. What did you say?" 

"I said that I guess we just need to go back to being secretive and bending some rules," she had that all too knowing smirk on her face. Tobin couldn't help but laugh and pulled her wife onto her lap, "What exactly are you insisting, Lex?" 

Alex bent down and placed small kisses across Tobin's jaw, letting her hands slide down her sides, "I'm insisting that you go lock that door and let me show you how real I am." Tobin bit her lower lip and was about to oblige to Alex's request, "I think," but her phone went off, "that I need to answer that." Tobin saw that it was Ashlyn and answered it, "Hello."

"DUDE," Ashlyn basically screamed into the phone, "Are you and Alex here?"

"Yeah we are, why?"

"The waves are great and Jill already gave us permission. Myself, Kelley, Ali, Hope, and Crystal are down here, just walk out the hotel and down to the beach and you'll see us. See ya soon!" 

Ashlyn ended the call and Tobin groaned knowing that they couldn't just skip, "Go put on your bathing suit, our friends that we just saw three weeks ago want to see us again." Alex climbed off her lap and sighed, "Alright, meet me by my room in ten minutes and we can head down."

***

"Married for two months, how's that?" Kelley teased as the group lounged on the beach with surfboards surrounding them, "I mean you haven't divorced yet, so that's a good sign." Ashlyn hit her friend on top of the head and Ali just shook her head in disbelief. 

Ali and Ashlyn were loving married life and being out to the public because they felt like for the first time in their relationship they didn't have to hide anything. And since they didn't have to hid anything, their fighting decreased a lot and they couldn't be happier. "We're actually doing great, I'm pretty close to getting a dog," Ashlyn pointed out, "but even without the dog, I'm happier than ever." Ali smiled at her wife like she was a goddess. She knew of Ashlyn's background and how she struggled when she was younger so knowing that she is truly happy now makes Ali love her even more. 

"Yo, Alex and Tobin! Long time no see!" Crystal blurted out before running to her teammates and friends, "sorry I couldn't make your wedding."

Tobin embraced the younger girl, "Oh it's no problem, Crys. We totally understand completely and trust me you didn't miss much." Alex hugged Crystal next before hugging the rest of her teammates. They all settled back down with Tobin and Alex joining them. After awhile, Tobin, Kelley, Ash, and Crystal paddled out to surf while Hope, Ali, and Alex stayed on land. 

"How was your honeymoon?" Ali asked as she watched Ashlyn catch a wave. 

"It was..." Alex searched for the perfect word but couldn't find one, "magical, fantastic, amazing, just Tobin went all out for it and it was easily the best trip I've ever been on. Tobin had so much fun showing me around Paris and all her favorite spots and all the small things she loved about it. It was just really great." Alex couldn't contain her smile as she remembered the trip, Tobin didn't hold anything back and it truly was just them two, "How was your and Ashlyn's? You went to Portugal, right?"

"Yeah, it was nice. We just lounged around on the beach and remembered how everything started and we talked about starting a family and just what our future is going to be like." She knew Ashlyn's spot wasn't guaranteed for Rio so they discussed what would happen if she didn't make the roster and discussed the rumors of a new NWSL team in Orlando. "Speaking of futures," Alex looked over at Hope who had her nose in a book, "when's the wedding?"

Hope put down her book and looked up to the two curious girls, "After the Olympics, we haven't really picked a date." Ali and Alex nodded knowing that Hope doesn't like to discuss their relationship. 

The girls on the water surfed for about an hour or two before heading back in to shore, "Ash, you totally kicked ass out there!" Kelley shouted in excitement and the rest agreed, "And dude, Tobin, you've still got it like really got it."

"I've always been better than you, Kelley, you just want admit it," Tobin teased sticking her board into the ground before approaching Alex, "How did I look out there?" Alex grabbed her hands and intertwined their fingers pulling Tobin closer, "Really hot, something with you in wetsuits and messy hair is really attractive." By now, Tobin thought she would get used to Alex's compliments but she still blushes every time. Alex connected their lips in a chaste kiss, "If we were rooming together, I would say lets go to the room but we can't really do that, can we?"

"We'll find time." Tobin sincerely said resting their foreheads together.

Alex held out her pinky, "Promise?" Tobin knew Alex was always serious when it came to pinky promises so she wrapped her pinky around her's. 

"Promise."


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter 2:

All the girls made their way back to their respective rooms knowing that the rest of the team probably arrived. Tobin unlocked her door still a little sadden that she couldn't be with her wife but right when she saw who her roommate was, it brightened her mood.

"Lindsey, I'm so relived to have you as my roommate," Tobin blurted out before falling onto her bed. Lindsey couldn't help but laugh. She missed having Tobin at PSG and missed their friendship in general, but now that she was going to Portland next season, she knew they would get back to normal. "I'll take that as a compliment. Are you and Alex fighting or something? Because I feel like you would much rather have her than me." Tobin rapidly shook her head with a little smirk, "No, not fighting. Jill wants us to spend time with the newer players so there won't be a separation between new and old. I mean I wouldn't mind rooming with one of the college kids but I much rather have someone I know pretty well."

"Same, dude, but real question, how are you and Alex gonna handle this? I mean when's the last time you haven't roomed together?" Lindsey couldn't help but question because she knew Tobin and Alex were always attached at the hip no matter what. 

"We'll make time to see each other and have alone time. I know Alex isn't happy about it but we're both adults and can handle it." Tobin knew that was true but it still hurt a little but at least they were only in Hawaii for a few days. Lindsey and Tobin talked about PSG and the new season coming up for the NWSL until it was time to go down for a team meeting. Tobin was so invested in their conversation she didn't check her phone until they were leaving the door. "Shit, Alex has been texting me. I'm gonna go to her room, I'll see you down there!" She said before running down the hall, knocking gently on Alex's door. 

"I thought you replaced me with your roommate," Alex joked, letting her come in, "who is your roommate?"

"It's Lindsey, we were just catching up on PSG and stuff," Tobin noticed Alex was alone, "Who's your roommate?" After doing a quick scan of the room, she say a bible on the nightstand and thought she might like this newbie. 

Alex sat down on her bed gesturing Tobin to join her, "Jaelene Hinke from the Flash. She's pretty quiet and was only in the room for like .2 seconds before leaving I don't know where." 

Tobin followed Alex's suit, "Weird, but we are alone now and still have a few minutes until we have to go downstairs." Alex knew Tobin's intentions but she also knew that if they got started they would be late for the meeting, "For how much I love that we are alone, I think it's best for us to go downstairs." 

The couple was one of the first ones down to the room and gladly said hi to Jill, "This is a first. Usually you two are one of the last to join, maybe having you two not room together is a good thing." Horror filled both of their eyes, only hoping that Jill wouldn't make this a full-time thing. "Calm down, you two, I was only joking. The coach can have some fun sometimes too." Alex and Tobin both lightly chuckled before finding their seats. 

The team slowly filed in as the minutes passed. Hope and Kelley were the last ones in causing everyone to raise an eyebrow and hide back a smirk. 

******

They didn't start training until the next day but disaster struck when they did. The turf was completely awful. Pinoe ended up tearing her ACL which infuriated the entire USWNT staff because it could have been avoided if the field was in better condition. 

"This fucking sucks," Hope sighed while laying down. The goalie box is completely torn up and there's gaps everywhere. Kelley knew her fiancée wasn't happy but neither was she, "I know, babe, we're talking about it tonight as a team cause we all know that that field isn't playable." She laid down next to Hope, cuddling into her side, "Let's just hope we can find a way to get around this without having to cancel the game." 

******

"We can't play on that piss of shit," Carli expressed as the team sat in disgust against US Soccer, "I think the only option we have is to strike against this game."

Most of the team nodded in agreement but some could see that the young-ins just wanted to get their chance to play on the national team. "And for those who think we are disappointed our fans for not playing need to realize that our safety comes first. We already lost Pinoe, we don't need another." Becky explained. 

"Are we allowed to this though? Like are we allowed to strike?" Ali questioned because honestly no one knew for sure. 

Abby spoke up since she was practically the only veteran left, "All I know is we haven't gotten a new CBA in awhile and I'm pretty sure that it doesn't say anything about strikes."

After discussing a little longer, the team decided to strike the game and just host an open training on grass for fans to see. Jill supported their decision but warned them that this could easily cause a legal battle between them and US Soccer. 

******

Texas was the next stop on the tour and Jill handed out the new room assignments on the plane. 

"Oi look the married couples plus JJ and Press are back to rooming together. How cute!" Crystal joked causing the team to chuckle. 

"I think Jill was just tired of hearing Alex and Tobin complain!" HAO added. 

"I miss rooming with Lex!"

"I just want alone time with Tobin!"

"It's hard just trying to find time to cuddle let alone to have..." Kelley tried to add but Alex covered her mouth knowing where that sentence was going to finish. 

"We get it," Tobin said glaring at her friend, "but now no more complaining."

Kelley looked around before leaning in close to the couple, "Hey, this is random but how do you think the college kids are handling all of this?"

"All of what?"

"Like all these couples on the team, I mean obviously after the World Cup everyone knew about you guys, me and Hope, and Ashlyn and Ali. But they just found out about JJ and Press like do you think it's overwhelming?"

Alex looked around and saw most of the college kids or younger kids sitting by each other, "I mean I don't think any of them are homophobic or anything but it may be weird for them to see us being all coupley after training. We could always ask them."

Kling overhead them and leaned over the seat, "Actually Hinkle is a little homophobic."

"What?" The three of them asked. 

"Yeah whatever day that gay marriage was passed she posted about how the world is falling further and further away from God and that they need help and shit."

"That's probably why she never spent time in our room," Alex pointed out, "and why she said barely two words to me."

"Should we try to talk to her about it? Like try to show her that we ain't aliens or anything weird." Tobin suggested. 

Kelley shook her head, "No we probably wouldn't change her mind, she'll just have to deal with it like its the 21st century. Grow up." 

***

Their plane landed and everyone just wanted to go to bed but they still had a team meeting later that night. 

"Ugh finally a room to ourselves again," Alex sighed, falling back onto the bed. 

"What, you didn't like having to hang out with our teammates 24/7?" Tobin joked while putting her bags down, "I mean at least Kelley was too busy with Hope to bug us plus we only have three games left on this victory tour, then we can go back home and just cuddle with Kona forever."

"That sounds perfect, babe-" a phone ringing cut her off, "hold on." Alex answered, "Hello?"

"Alex, perfect we need to talk. Is Tobin with you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Can you go somewhere in private for a second? This is important."

"Tobin, I'm gonna take this outside," Alex opened the balcony door before shutting it, "What's so important, Mark?"

The thorns just got a new coach and Alex was okay with that because she never really liked Paul.

"It's about the new expansion team in Orlando...we think you should go there."

Alex knew all about the new expansion team because Ali and Ash always talk about Ash moving down there. She wanted to help the league but that would be leaving Tobin. 

"Mark, I don't know. I can't just leave Tobin like that. This is a decision we both have to make."

"Just think about, please, the league really needs a star besides Ashlyn in Orlando." 

Sighing, Alex hung up the phone not knowing what to do. Should she do what's best in help the league or stay with the love of her life?


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter 3:

"Who was that, babe?" Tobin asked once Alex came back inside. 

Alex wasn't ready to tell the truth but she also didn't want to hide it from the person she loves most, "Oh it was Mark." She cuddled next to Tobin who was reading an email off her laptop. Tobin had her glasses on and gave a small smile to her wife, "What did he want? Preparing for our kick ass season ahead?"

"Um," Alex didn't know how to start or anything so she just sighed into Tobin's chest hoping the conversation would be dropped. "Lex, what did he want?" Tobin asked again while closing her laptop. She knew now that Tobin wouldn't drop it so Alex had two ways out A. Tell the truth or B. Lie. 

She chose A. 

"You know that new expansion team in Orlando?"

"Yeah," Tobin replied intertwining her hand with Alex's, "Ash is going there next season to help jump start it and be closer to her family. I hope Ali gets what she wants and gets traded there too after a year." 

Alex bit her lip, trying her hardest not to make eye contact with her wife, "How would you feel if I went there too? To you know, help the league?" Tobin chuckled not actually believing that Alex would leave Portland, "You're joking, right?" She waited for a reply but one never came, "Alex, look at me. You're not serious, are you?" Tobin tried to get Alex to look at her but Alex had her face buried in her chest. 

"I'm sorry," was the only thing to escape her mouth, "but Mark and all the other coaches want me to."

"Alex, you don't have to say yes. You can't actually be considering leaving me alone in Portland. We just got married and have a dog and want to start a family I thought...damn it, Lex, look at me please." Alex could hear the sadness and disappointed in Tobin's voice making her finally look up, "Tobs, I love you and want a family with you. I married you cause I want this forever. But this is about our jobs...my job. If it will help the league I think it may be for the best. And maybe you could get traded their after a year also. I can talk to Mark and see if that's possible."

Tobin sighed before moving off the bed, "I don't want that. Portland was and is still is my home. I don't want to leave and thought you didn't either! I don't want to move to Florida, I want us to stay in Portland. I want us to grow our relationship there but now you want to just get up and leave." Alex knew Tobin was hurting but couldn't bring herself to agree with her, "But Tobin, think about women's soccer. Think about how much impact this would have for the country. They need me in Orlando-"

"Well I need you in Portland!" Tobin snapped before regaining her posture, "Can we talk about this later, please? We still have a few weeks together in camp before we have to go back home. So can this please just wait?"

Alex shut her eyes, "Yeah it can but please don't be mad. I want to make this work and we just need to communicate and try to compromise." Tobin walked back over to where Alex was laying, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek, "We'll talk later."

******

"Kelley O'hara, best friend talk right now!" Tobin pounded on her door constantly until it finally opened. "Gosh trying to break down the door, what's wrong?" Kelley greeted her jokingly letting her right in, "Hope is doing Pregame stuff with Carli right now so no one is here."

"Did you know?"

Kelley was confused of what her best friend was asking, "Know what?"

"Alex wanting to move to Orlando." Tobin was really hoping Kelley didn't but the sigh gave it away, "When did you find out?"

"All the coaches are talking about it and I may have overhead from Ash and Ali. Apparently it's been in the works ever since the team became official." Kelley knew Tobin must have just found out so she treaded carefully, "Have you asked Alex about it? It could just be all rumors?"

Tobin laughed sarcastically, "No, it's true speaking Alex was the one who told me about it. She wants to go and wants me to get traded later on. I can't leave Portland, Kelley." 

Kelley knew Alex wanted to do the right thing but she also knew how hard this must be for Tobin, "Look, bud, long distance isn't bad. Me and Hope have to do it. Ash and Ali have done it multiple times. It's just our jobs. They don't always play in our favor." Tobin shook her head because this time is different, "No, you and Hope have to do long distance because you were already on separate teams before you started dating. Ali and Ash have had to do long distance because of national team duties or Ali playing in Germany to improve her game. But even then Ash went to Germany to be closer to her. Alex is choosing to leave me."

"Just talk it out. She doesn't have to make a decision anytime soon so once you both get home, sit down and discuss the pro and cons." 

"Okay," Tobin finally gave in, "let's just go to the meeting."

******

"Look, babe, I'm sorry," Alex stated again once Tobin sat down next to her. 

"We'll talk to later like I said before. We're fine, I promise." Tobin quickly replied sharply. 

******

They weren't fine. Both of them noticed the growing tension between them as the team finished their victory tour and Christmas was quickly approaching. 

Everyone went back home for the holidays until their next camp in San Diego. Alex and Tobin tried to act like everything was normal back home but it wasn't. Alex wanted to talk about it but Tobin consistently avoided it. 

"Tobin, we have to discuss this. Mark and Tom want an answer soon." Alex pleaded with her for the 100th time. 

Tobin finally gave in and answered, "Just go, Alex. I can tell it's what you want." That's not what Alex wanted to hear, "What do you mean by that's what I want? I want us to be happy and both agree on this. If you want me to stay in Portland, just tell me that's what you want."

"Of course I want you to stay in Portland, Lex! I want to be able to live with my wife and see her every day and sleep with her. But I can tell you want to do your job and help the league I'm not going to hold you back from that. You're too good of a person." 

Alex wrapped her arms around Tobin's neck pulling her in for a hug, resting her head on her shoulder, "You're still not happy, I can tell." Tobin laid her hands gently underneath Alex's shirt, drawing patterns across her lower back, "I'm never going to be happy when my wife is going to across the country from me."

"Then why aren't you trying to convince me to stay?" 

"Because Mark called me a few days ago and told me that you've already agreed to the trade." Tobin said quietly before releasing Alex, "Thanks for having us both make the decision." Alex stood in shock that Mark told her and that Tobin kept quiet for that long, "I didn't--babe--I'm sorry--they needed an answer." Alex felt tears forming as Tobin looked heartbroken in front of her, "We can handle long distance, I still love you. You know that. And I'm trying to convince Tom to trade me back to Portland after a year. We can handle a few months apart. Plus we have the Olympics, so we'll still be together." Tobin didn't care for Alex's reasons, she lied to her and that's what hurt. "It's whatever, Alex, it's already done. Let's just fly to California to be with your family over Christmas and once we get back we'll pack your stuff for Florida." 

"Tobin-"

"Just drop it," She mumbled, "I'm taking Kona for a walk."

Once Tobin was gone, Alex crumpled to floor in tears. She knew she messed up, she knew she had to take it all back but it was too late. The trade already happened basically, she can't back out. She called the only other person that could help her. 

"Ali, I made a huge mistake."


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter 4:

"Alex, I doubt it was a "huge mistake". What happened?" Ali asked nonchalantly as she tried not to wake a sleeping Ashlyn. 

Alex sniffled back her tears, "No, this is big. I signed the trade for Orlando..."

"Oh," was all Ali said at first, "but I thought you and Tobin talked about it, I thought everything was okay." Ali started waking Ashlyn up because she knew she would need her better half to get through this conversation. 

"We did talk at first but we never reached an agreement or understanding. And then Mark kept pushing me to decide while Tobin didn't want to talk about it so I said yes and today, I finally got Tobin to talk," Alex was talking a thousand miles per hour but she just had to get it out, "and Mark called her a few days ago and told her. She heard the news from someone else. I didn't even have the balls to tell her myself."

Ali could hear that Alex was crying and tried to calm her down, "Hey, hey it's okay. It will be okay. Where's Tobin? Have you talked about it?"

"Tobin left right after she told me. Ali, I've fucked up. She's so pissed off and has every right too. And I can't just fix this by telling Mark and Tom I want to stay here. The trade is done! I just left my wife for my stupid job basically!" Alex was getting frustrated at herself for being such an idiot and her mind kept telling her that she doesn't deserve Tobin anymore. 

Ashlyn awoke from the constant shaking from Ali, "Babe, what's wrong?" Ali quickly pointed to the phone and mouthed "Alex" before putting it on speaker. "Long distance will work. Me and Ash have done it so many times. Hope and Kelley are doing it right now. You two just need to talk about it. I understand Tobin is mad at you for making a decision without her but you really had no choice. Over Christmas, what are you two doing?"

"We're going to my parents' house. But it's just going to be miserable since we're in this fight." Alex was now pacing around her house, ever so often checking the window to see if Tobin was coming home. 

Ash spook up before Ali could, "No, it won't be miserable. Enjoy your time together. Enjoy the holiday. Communicate. I'm going to be brutally honest with you Alex, you and Tobin are perfect together. Rarely fight. Pretend everything is okay. You two never talk about your problems, you just let them build and build. Talk it out. Sit down as adults and hear each other out. Both of you have to get your heads out of your asses." Ali shook her head because Ashlyn was being quite hard on someone who obviously just needs emotional support. 

"I gotta go, Tobin is back. Thanks." Alex hung up lying about Tobin being back just because she didn't know what to believe or what to do honestly. She just needed to stop thinking so she quickly showered before climbing into bed letting sleep wash over her. 

Tobin came home eventually once Kona got tired of walking and found Alex already in bed with tear-stained eyes. She was wear Tobin's Tarheels shirt, the same shirt she was wearing when she was nervous about telling Tobin about her feelings. This wasn't how things were suppose to be. They were suppose to be happy, creating a family, creating a future as a married couple. Instead they were arguing, not just arguing over something small but about how Alex was leaving, about how a decision got made without considering their other half. Tobin changed and got under the covers. Usually Alex's body immediately moves into the warmth and this time was no different. Tobin thought about how in a few months she wouldn't have this, she wouldn't have any of this. 

******

The next few days were fragile. The couple danced around each other saying minimal words to just get by. But every night ended the same way, Alex would go to be first in one of Tobin's tshirts and Tobin would follow once she fell asleep and Alex was automatically cuddle into her. Even with a broken relationship, some things stay the same. 

******

Thankfully they booked flights to California instead of driving like last time. They packed, drove to the airport, checked their bags, boarded the plane, and took off all in silence. 

Alex hated flying but hated it less when Tobin was with her. She carefully intertwined their fingers together which Tobin responded with a light squeeze. 

******

Once their flight landed, Alex's parents meet them outside the gate. 

"Alex, Tobin. We've missed you both so much!" Tobin's dad exclaimed. 

The couple put on fake smiles and kept their hands intertwined as they approached the overjoyed parents, "We've missed you too," Alex said speaking for both of them. 

The car was short and sweet back to their home and Alex's dad helped them bring in their luggage. 

"Where's Jeri and Jeni?" Tobin asked as they walked into an empty house. 

"Out getting some last gifts and decorations and such. Me and Pam have to go drop off some toy donations right now too but they should be back in ten-twenty minutes. Love you both." Her dad replied before leaving the couple alone again. 

Alex started unpacking while Tobin sat on the bed, "My parents love you."

"I love them too. It's like a second home. Plus your sisters are great for hilarious stories about you." Tobin joked with a smirk toying on her lips. Alex threw a playful glare her way before continuing unpacking. "I'm still not happy with you," Tobin continued, all of sudden turning serious. 

"I know," Alex mumbled back not looking up. 

Tobin scooted to the edge of the bed, crossing her legs, "But it's the holidays and we're with people that love us. So let's put these last few weeks behind us for this week and just be happy here." Alex sighed and looked up, "Tobin, we have to talk about this cause obviously it's affecting our relationship."

"Let's talk now then," Tobin replied flatly, "Like why?"

"You know why."

"No like why you didn't just straight up tell me that they needed an answer that soon, I would have talked about it a lot sooner then." 

"I didn't know how to begin," Alex said just above a whisper, "I knew the conversation was going to be hard."

Tobin needed to reassure her, "I love you."

"I love you too," Alex quickly replied because that was the first time in weeks that either one has said I love you, "I regret it. I regret saying yes without really thinking about it. I regret not asking your opinion or telling you that I needed an answer. But I can't take it back."

"I know you can't take it back, but it hurts, Lex. I feel like you chose your job over me. And I know you want me to get traded to Orlando but Portland is my home, it's our home." 

They both heard a car pull up and knew they would have to finish the conversation later. "I know and I know we need to finish this but can we please go back to being us?" Alex pleaded with her wife. 

"We can't go back to being us until we get through this because we still have problems...that we need to talk about." with that Tobin headed back downstairs to meet Alex's sisters. 

******

"Lex, wake up. It's Christmas." Tobin whispered to her as she felt Alex shift next to her, "Don't you want presents?"

That got Alex to open her eyes and smile, "You're the only present I need."

The comment seemed normal and it was besides the fact that they were still in a fight that has yet to be solved and both were avoiding just because it was the holidays. 

Tobin laughed, "But there's more downstairs plus your family."

The Morgan family had very strict Christmas traditions. They all wake up at 7am and meet downstairs. 

"Good morning lovely children," Pam greeted them as all three sisters plus Tobin descended down the stairs. 

Next was breakfast. A complete buffet of amazing, home cooked food that warmed the soul. The rule was oldest to youngest which always made Alex mad but Tobin was nice enough to go last behind her wife. 

"So Tobin, I've heard that Portland is getting some great new kids for next season. I have doubt you guys will win the championship next year. Like you and Alex alone could win it for the team." Alex's dad said casually at the table but caused the couple tense. Alex was about to butt in and break the news but Tobin gave her a look and shook her head silently telling Alex it wasn't the right time. 

The next thing was presents. That's what worried Tobin because she got Alex's present before the news and she was afraid it wouldn't go over well with her. 

Alex had the same though. The present resembled everything they were and have but the recent events jeopardized all that. And the last thing they wanted was to spark a fight in front of Alex's family.


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter 5:

The whole family gathered around the tree which was beautifully lit and decorated to a tee. Tobin sat in one of the big arm chairs and Alex plopped down into between her legs on the floor. Pam and Michael started seperating the presents into piles for each one of them. This was the part Alex loved because the order now went youngest to oldest so she got the first present. The order kept going as one by one they opened their presents. Slowly but surely Alex got handed Tobin’s which was neatly wrapped with a pink bow on top.

“I swear I’m gonna throw up if this is some sickly cute present,” Jeni joked causing Alex to kick a leg at her. Jeri was going to add something but the glare Alex sent her way shut it down quickly, “Okay nevermind, just open it.”

Alex took her time untieing the bow and tearing off the paper, Tobin watched from behind only hoping she still likes it. Once all the paper was off, Alex lifted the top of the box off.

“What is it?” Jeri asked impatiently. Alex didn’t reply and started taking out the tissue paper that covered the present. Tobin knew Alex was worried about what was because she was taking an extremely long time to get to the actual gift.

A small gasp escaped her mouth, “Tobin…” Alex took in the gift and immedatiely wanted to cry because it was just so perfect.

“I made it before I found out about you know what but I hope you’ll take it with you so it can be a reminder of our love,” Tobin whispered into her ear. Alex opened the cover of the book titled “Our Memories” and started flipping through all the pictures of them together since 2009. Each picture had a small caption expressing why Tobin loves that picture. “It’s perfect, you’re perfect. Thank you.” Alex turned around jumping up to hug her wife as the rest of her family watched confused still not seeing the actual.

“Alex, hun, what is it?” Pam asked shyly.

“Oh it’s a scrapbook of all our memories together and Tobin personalized all of them, I love it.” Alex continued flipping through all the pages until she reached the last picture was one of them with Kona in their portland home captioned, “Our first real home but technically I’m always home when I’m with you.”

“Damn it,” Alex mumbled before walking out the room leaving Tobin confused, “Um I’m gonna see what’s wrong.”

Tobin followed Alex into her room but Alex was already on the phone with someone, “I want out of my contract, Tom. I can’t move to Florida.”

“Tom, I don’t care that you and Mark have already agreed on a trade! I have a life and a home and a wife in Portland. I was stupid to think that I could put my job before my personal life.”

“Are you really forcing me to go to Orlando? You know I am going to be unhappy, my heart won’t be in it anymore.”

“Fine then maybe I’ll just quit the NWSL!”

By now Tobin was completely confused and rushed over ending the call before Alex said anything else, “Lex, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” Alex broke down, collapsing into Tobin’s arms trying to get some comfort.

“I can’t leave you, babe, I’m so sorry.” Her words were coming out broken and in short gasps, “I was so stupid, this whole fight has been stupid, I’m wrong, I’ve been wrong this whole time and I’m sorry for trying to convince you that I wasn’t.” Tobin tightly held her love in her arms, she could feel her shirt getting wet from Alex’s tears, “Babe, shh shh.” Even though Tobin hated every minute of their fight and all she wanted to hear was Alex apologize, but now that she has, it isn’t anything she wanted.

She whispered encouraging things to try and calm her down, “Love, stop. I forgive you, it’s okay. I promise everything will be fine. What caused this?” Alex sniffled trying to regain her composure, “Your gift. The last picture was us in our Portland home and the caption got to me and made me realize that I can’t leave you alone in Portland. It’s both of our homes and we are both most at home when we are together not separated by thousands of miles.” Tobin wiped away a few stray tears, “Okay but it’s too late, because by the sounds of it, Tom isn’t letting you out of the trade,” she said a little disheartened.

“I’ll quit, take the season off, something.” Alex’s voice was dead serious which scared Tobin.

“No, no I would never take away what you love-”

“I love you!” Alex cut in grabbing Tobin’s hand, “You’ll always come first.”

Tobin closed her eyes because she couldn’t live with herself if Alex quit club, “Trust me, I know you care about me and you regret this but go to Orlando. It’s only a few months plus we have the Olympics, I’ll convince Mark to get you back for next season, okay? I forgive you.”

Alex took in a sharp breath before relaxing, “I feel awful…”

“Don’t. Yes, I was mad but you’ve apologized, realized that you made a mistake, and owned up to it. We’re still married, Lex, we can do long distance. Hell we managed to stay best friends when I went to France and at least now we can actually fly to see each other.”

After talking for a few more minutes, Alex felt better about it and called Tom back apologizing for lashing out. “We need to go back downstairs, your family is probably worried,” Tobin said giving her a small kiss.

“Okay, I’ll explain it to them. They deserve to know.”

They walked downstairs to find all them exactly where they left them but they were talking in hushed voices until they saw Alex and Tobin walking in. “Is everything okay?” Pam asked right away looking between the two girls.

“Yes, well now it is. I should have told you guys earlier but me and Tobin were in a fight over it so obviously that had to be solved first.”

Mike gave a look that could kill at Tobin, “I swear if you hurt her-”

“Dad, no. I actually hurt her,” Alex replied in a low tone, “I got traded to Orlando to help jump start it and I didn’t tell her right away because I was scared to see her reaction. We’ve been fighting about it ever since last camp honestly but after seeing Tobin’s gift and everything, I knew I was in the wrong. So I ran up stairs and immediately called Tom and tried to get out of it but it’s too late.”

Pam hugged her youngest daughter, “Oh AliCat, it’s okay.”

“She knows that now,” Tobin added, “We talked and made up and understand that we can do long distance, but sorry for putting a damper on the Christmas mood.” Michael gave his daughter-in-law a smile, “No worries, this usually happens at Morgan’s Christmas.”

Tobin looked shocked, “Wait really?”

“We will tell the stories at dinner but right now we need to finish these presents. Tobin, open Alex’s gift.” Jeni encouraged gesturing the stack of gifts. Tobin stubbornly agreed and took the gift, jokingly shaking it before actually opening it.

Alex stood nervously next to her side hoping her gift was just as good.

“Oh babe, I love it!” Tobin exclaimed pulling it out. It was a custom-made Fit Bit with the thorns and USWNT logos on it, a new PDX snapback since her old one was so beaten up, and lastly a custom shutterfly book of all their wedding photos. 

Alex gave her a smile before putting the SnapBack on Tobin's head, "I know mine aren't as personal but I knew you would enjoy all of them." 

"I love them. Thank you." Tobin gave her a kiss then felt her phone vibrate. Checking it, she saw it was Jill calling, "Babe, I gotta take it. It's from Jill."

Tobin snuck out of room while answering the phone, "Hey Coach."

"Tobin, Merry Christmas. Sorry if I'm interrupting something important."

"No you're not. Is something wrong?"

"Yes and no. We're enforcing new relationship rules for the entire team."

Tobin furrowed her brows together, "Okay, what happened?"

"Christen and JJ broke up and according to the Chicago Red Stars, barely will say any words to each other which can easily jeopardize their connection on the field." This shocked Tobin that they broke up and now barely even talking to each other, "What are the new rules?"

"This doesn't really affect any of you since both you and Alex and Ashlyn and Ali married plus Hope and Kelley are engaged but if any relationship ends, it has to be reported to the coaches immediately and if either person can not communicate with the other, it's expulsion from the team."

"So what does this mean for Press and JJ?" Tobin asked curiously hoping that her friends weren't being forced to leave the team. 

"It depends."

"On what?"

"If you guys can get them back to being civil or not." Jill ended the call with that and found Alex standing in the doorway, "What did she want?"

"JJ and Christen broke up."


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter 6:

Shortly after the holiday break, the team had a camp in California which thrilled the surfer chicks and beach bums on the team. Plus everyone was pumped about the high school superstar Mallory Pugh being called up. No one really talked to either Christen or JJ about their break up but some heard that Christen went back to California and was living with her sister. Tobin was considering reaching out to Christen and figuring out what happened but she felt like it wasn't any of her business yet Jill kept emailing the backline and those close to the two about how they need to get those two back to normal before their game against Ireland. 

******

"Kelley!" Alex shouted running to hug her best friend, "How was the holidays?"

Kelley gave her megawatt smile, "Good, great actually. We spent Christmas with my parents in Georgia then flew to Seattle for New Years. And even did a little wedding planning." The two continued to chat while Tobin and Ashlyn bragged about all the waves they were going to catch. "Hey, you and baby horse okay?" Ashlyn finally snuck into the conversation. 

"Yeah we're fine who knew talking about a problem could actually solve it." Tobin joked, "but seriously, it's good."

Most of the team was just in hanging out in the lobby since they haven't seen each other in a while. But once JJ walked in, the room was dead silence and anyone could hear a pin drop. The entire team knew about the breakup yet no one knew why it happened. It was obvious JJ had puffy eyes with dark circles underneath meaning that she has been crying and not getting much sleep. JJ mumbled hi's to a few teammates before heading straight to her room. 

"Alright, we need to fix this." Kling pointed out, "cause this really ain't good for any of us."

A few of the younger players were confused mainly because a lot of them never knew that Press and JJ were dating especially Mallory Pugh who was already overwhelmed with the experience itself. 

"A lot of weird things happen here, youngin'." Alex chirped in dropping an arm across her shoulders, "I'm Alex."

"I know," Mallory instantly said before backing up, "I mean, hey I'm Mallory." She idolized Alex as a forward, she remembers watching the 2012 Olympics and being memorized by the young forward. 

Alex knew the younger girl was probably freaking out because Alex should did the first time, "Don't worry about this extra team stuff. The older ones will handle it, just worry about you, a ball, and a field. Okay?" Alex saw Mallory relax a little while letting a long held breath go, "Thanks. I guess it's just a little overwhelming. Who do I talk to find out my roommate?"

"Usually Dawn but I'm actually your roommate this camp. Jill wants us to create a good friendship since we'll probably be passing a lot to each other on the field." Tobin looked over seeing her wife comforting the teenager and couldn't help but smile at the sight. She knew Alex asked Jill if she could room with Mallory so she knew ahead of time about the roommates. 

"Hey Alex, I'm heading up to my room. Text me once you get settled." Alex threw a smile her way with a wink before continuing her conversation. 

Tobin didn't actually know who her roommate was but she figured it would be one of the newbies, "Hellooo?" She said right when she got into her room. 

"Oh hey, Tobin," Press responded shyly with her head still in a book. 

"Hey Pressy. Good to see you again." Tobin cursed herself for being so awkward but like how couldn't she when she knew two of her good friends broke up, "Wanna talk about it at all?" 

Christen sighed while closing her book, "There's not much to talk about." Tobin put down her bags and sat across from her on her own bed, "I think there is. Wanna start by telling me what happened? You two were so happy."

"Were. That's the key. Everything was fine but slowly things just started falling apart. The arguing about little things started then JJ secretly flew to Philadelphia to visit her ex, Zach, and I was pissed."

Tobin was confused, "So that's why you broke up? That seems silly." 

Christen looked down at her hands, "There more. Once I found out she went to visit him, I obviously was mad so..."

"Christen, what did you do?" Tobin asked sharply. 

"I slept with someone."

******

"Hold on, your mom literally started crying when you got the call from Jill?" Alex was laughing so hard from Mal's story, "Oh my gosh."

Mallory was just as bad, "Yes, I was so confused! I was like Mom shouldn't you be happy for me and not crying?!"

The two clicked almost instantly, it was like a big/little sister bond that was already formed. Alex did send a quick text to Tobin saying she could come over if she wanted but never got a response. 

"Oh by the way, you and Tobin are cute together," Mallory randomly added which caught Alex off guard.

"Thank you, we compete with Ash and Ali for the cutest," she joked which cause Mallory to roll her eyes playfully. 

Mallory shook her head and continued, "What I actually meant is I think it's cool that a lot of you guys are so open about your relationships and such a strong voice for LGBT+ professional athletes. Me and my friends think all of you are great role models." Alex swooned over the younger girl's word because it meant a lot to her, "In a few years, you're gonna be a role model to girls just like you, you know? I mean you are the super star high schooler."

******

"Wait what?" Tobin's eyes went wide and she felt like this couldn't be true. 

"I was mad-"

Tobin wasn't having it, "That's not a good enough reason, Press!"

"Shouldn't you be the supportive one? I mean it's not like we didn't hook up every now and then before Alex and you got together!" Press was furious that Tobin was siding with Julie on this. 

"Yes, we did but guess what? Neither of us had girlfriends at that time. And I remember you vividly saying it was no strings attached so don't even bring that up. Cheating is unacceptable, you know how I feel about it! Especially since it happened to Alex." Tobin was trying to not get into a shouting match with her just in case a room next to them happened to be a teammate eavesdropping, "Who was it? Who did you sleep with?"

Christen took a sharp breath in and closed her eyes, "Just an old teammate."

"I swear to god if it's someone connected to the Red Stars or USWNT I'm never talking to you again." Tobin practically growled out. 

"It wasn't," Christen quickly replied, "it was a teammate from Sweden, she was in town visiting." Tobin felt slightly better hearing that but barely, "Okay next question, how did Julie find out?" Christen was happy to hear Tobin calming down because she really needed someone's support, "I told her."

Thank god for that, Tobin thought to herself. "So you felt guilty?"

"Damn it, Tobin, of course I felt guilty. I cheated on a girl that I loved cause I thought she was cheating on me. And best part of this story is that Julie went to Philadelphia because Zach's mom died and she was going for support because they managed to stay friends after the break up. She didn't tell me because she didn't want me to worry or anything."

******

After Tobin and Press finished talking, Tobin called a impromptu guidance meeting with Ali, Ash, Alex, Hope, Kelley, Lindsey, Crystal, and HAO. 

"We've got a big shit of a problem in our hands," Tobin started out, "like we might be screwed."

Crystal gave her a weird look because surely the girl was exaggerating, "What could possibly be that bad?"

"The reason why Christen and JJ broke up." 

That quickly made everything listen closer, "She told you?" Kelley was shocked because she never thought Tobin and Christen were that close. Tobin nodded quickly before carrying on, "Oh yeah. She told me exactly what happened but you all have to promise that this won't affect our relationships with either one of them," everyone quickly agreed, "especially you, Alex." 

"Wait why me?" 

Tobin just gave her a sincere look, "Julie secretly went to Philadelphia to be with Zach," small gasps came from her teammates, "but the reason was because Zach's mom had died so she went for support and to be a good friend." Everyone then relaxed back into their seats, "But Press of course didn't know that so she was pissed." Tobin then paused not knowing how to the phrase the next part, "then...so she slept with someone while Julie was gone." Alex took a deep breath in having flashbacks to almost the exact same thing with Servando but Kelley quickly rested a hand on her shoulder to give her reassurance. 

"Who did she sleep with?" Hope asked out of pure curiosity. 

"Julie's old college roommate," Alex scoffed under her breath but no one heard her. 

"Some old teammate," again everyone stiffened, "from Sweden." 

"Shit, that's messed up," Lindsey didn't know the two that well but she never thought Press would do something like that, "But that makes sense why they aren't talking at all."

All of them agreed that it was messed up but that didn't help them since their mission was to get them back to civil. "How are we going to fix this?" HAO asked because being one of the oldest, she's had to deal with a lot of team problems but none ever this complicated. 

"Fuck this is gonna be a long camp." Ash mumbled out, leaning back against her chair.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter 7:

No one blamed JJ for not talking to Press because what Press did was so terribly wrong in every way. Everyone tried to go through training and team meals without making any awkward comments but after a few days, almost all the players heard the news and sides were being picked (most of them were on JJ side). Christen was starting to get annoyed by her so-called friends so she confronted Tobin again, "You told them?!"

"I had too, Jill is about to kick you two off the team if you can't solve your issues," Tobin replied, "We're not saying you and JJ need to get back together or best friends again, but at least be civil."

Christen scoffed while shaking her head, "I've tried talking to her but she shuts me out. And I can tell the rest of the team is with her. You know how many dirty looks I get from them every time I walk into a room?! Especially from Alex." Tobin couldn't blame Alex since she was exactly in JJ's shoes a few years ago, "Alex just knows how JJ feels cause it happened to her. She doesn't hate you by any means." 

"You told her about us, didn't you?" Christen asked. 

Tobin furrowed her brows together, "No, I haven't. There's no need to when it was just a fling for a few months plus she wasn't even single at the time." Christen looked appalled at her, "That's all it was to you, a fling?"

"We agreed that it was!" Tobin replied confused, "Where is this coming from? We were talking about you and JJ."

Christen finally let the conversation dropped and refocused it, "JJ is too pissed, she has every right to be, to talk to me."

"What if I talked to her for you? Just to see if she's willing to sit down?" 

"Yeah, can you just tell JJ that I'm sorry again and that I want to sit down and explain? Please." Christen pleaded with her. 

"Yeah I can and hey, we're all still teammates here. None of us are picking sides." Tobin gave a small before walking to find Julie. "Except for Alex," Christen said underneath her breath. 

Tobin laughed, "Heard that! And trust me she's not."

******

"Hey, JJ, can I come in?" Tobin asked politely. Slowly, JJ opened the door and let her in. Her eyes were less puffy but it still showed the little sleep. "Hey, Tobin," her voice was cracked. 

Tobin sat down on her bed, "I just want to start out that I'm sorry this happened. I'm here if you ever want to talk about-"

"Who was it?" JJ interrupted her. 

"What?"

"Who was the girl or guy she slept with?"

"Oh," Tobin knew JJ just wanted answers and that's the only way she was ever going to get closure, "an old teammate from Sweden apparently. She regrets it, you know? She still loves you." JJ sighed sitting across from Tobin in a chair. She knew Christen still loved her but how could she go back to someone that broke her heart and her trust? "I know, I see the texts she sends me, I listen to the countless voicemails. But I just can't, Tobin, I can't go back to someone who did that to me. Imagine if Alex would have went back to Servando. You, plus everyone else, would have judged her, call her crazy and stupid. I'm not setting myself up to get my heart broken again."

Tobin disagreed with her friend, "Christen isn't Servando though. We all knew how rocky their relationship was but what you and Christen had was special. You both are in love and want to be together."

"I know you're trying to help, Tobin, but I know about your and Christen's past and I just don't know if you're a very unbiased opinion." That hurt Tobin because she was really trying to be in the middle, "I understand...well she just wants to talk if you are willing to." With that, Tobin got up to leave but JJ stopped her for a sec, "And you might want to tell Alex about your past with her."

"Why?"

Julie's face all of sudden turned very serious, "Just because I wouldn't put it pass Press to finally snap at Alex's dirty glares and tell her just to get you two fighting." 

******

Tobin went straight to Alex and Mal's room cause she knew deep down that she should have told Alex long before now about her and Press, "Alex?" 

Mallory opened it, "Hey, Tobin. She's in the bathroom but come on in." Tobin smiled at the teen before walking into the room, "Hey I know this is gonna sound bad, but can you leave for a few minutes? There's something really important I need to talk to Lex about."

"I'm guessing it's about the whole JJ/Press thing, I'll go find Rose or Steph to chill with," the girl replied nonchalantly. It threw Tobin off that the girl actually knew about the team drama. Most of them were trying to hide it from the newbies cause they already have enough to worry about, "Yeah it kinda is. Who told you?" Mallory just laughed, "You guys aren't very secretive, I mean it's all you guys have been talking about since the first day plus Alex is my roommate, you don't think I've gotten a few things out of her?" Tobin was impressed about how well Mallory was already bonding with the team and she was deceptive just like most of them were. 

"And you're only 17...you fit in quite well, youngin'."

Mallory just smiled before leaving the room. 

"Mal, who was at the-oh hey babe." Alex greeted with a smile, "where did Mal go?" Tobin guided Alex to the bed having them both sit down, "I asked her to leave for a little bit because I need to tell you something." Alex gave her a questionable look, "Okay...is everything okay?"

Tobin looked down at her hands then at Alex, "Everything's okay but this is important. I should have told you this a long time ago but I guess I just never thought of it as much importance until I realized it's best you know." Tobin took a deep breath in before letting it all out, "Before we got together and before you and Servando had even broken up, Press and I were a on and off thing for a few months. We obviously kept it quiet from everyone because we said it was no strings attached. I just felt like you needed to know especially since Press and JJ are now in this dilemma."

"Okay." Tobin waited for more but it never came, Alex just sat content with a straight face, "What? Did you expect me to yell at you or something?"

"I mean maybe. I don't know, I mean you're not mad that I had a thing with another teammate?" 

Alex laughed, "No, it was before I was even single and Tobin, I've read your journal. You said it yourself that you loved me in like 2011 that just shows me that whatever you and Press had meant nothing to you. I don't know what it meant to her but I'm not bothered by it." Tobin kissed Alex right when she finished, "I love you."

"I know and I love you too."

Tobin was very thankful to have Alex as a wife, "Oh and by the way, stop telling the kid about the team drama."

Alex gasped in fake shock, "I would never." Tobin laughed scrunching her nose, "Don't play innocent, Mal told me. She doesn't need to be concerned about all this extra stuff."

"Hey, she wanted to know. Plus remember she's in high school, she probably hears more drama in a school day then she has this entire week. Just because she's a kid to us doesn't mean we need to treat her like one."

Tobin ended up agreeing, "You're right. You're right. Maybe I just feel older since there's a whole decade between the two of us. I'm trying to be like Confucius or some inspirational leader figure."

"Babe, we both know that neither one of us are those type of people. Leave that to Becky or someone. Now come on, maybe we can give Mal a little initiation by having her play Monop Deal with us, Kelley, Morgan, and Kling."

******

JJ sat motionless in the chair for a few minutes after Tobin left. She thought that the least she could do was give Christen a chance to explain, right?

"Hey...come over we need to talk," once JJ sent the text she knew it was too late to turn back.


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter 8:

Christen read the text...then reread it a few more times. She never thought that Julie would actually be willing to sit down and talk. She knew this was her one moment to fix things, to show JJ that she still cared, that she wanted to be together. Grabbing only her phone, Christen headed down the hall to confront the girl that she still loved.

Julie knew Christen would be over soon and honestly, she had no idea what she was going to say. Of course she was mad at her but she wants answers so this was the only way to maybe become civil again. 

One knock, two knocks, three was all Julie heard before taking a deep breath and approaching the door, “Hey come in.”

******

“Are you guys always this intense?” Mallory asked as she laid another card down.

“Yes,” all them agreed before going back into their competitive mood of silence.

Almost the entire team was in Alex’s and Mal’s room watching the usuals play their game of MonopDeal. Becky, who was always very observant, noticed something was about to happen. “In two moves, Mallory is going to win,” she whispered to Hope who was the closest to her. “No way...if that happens, we may need to hold back the others,” Hope joked watching Kelly furrow her brows in frustration yet again. The turns went around again then again until it was Mallory’s turn, “Watch,” Becky smirked. Mallory laid down her card leaving everyone stunned.

“She won?! She cheated!” Kling exclaimed not accepting defeat.  
“Finally Alex has some competition,” Morgan joked which earned her a glare from the Baby Horse.  
“The kid won fair and square, apparently we just suck,” Tobin admitted stacking the cards back together.  
“Not fair,” Kelley grumbled under her breath before snuggling up into Hope.

Mallory just sat there holding back her laughter because she’s never seen women in their twenties get so upset over a card game, “I may be a kid but remember I’ve still traveled internationally and we keep ourselves entertained the same way.” 

******

Christen knocked gently on Julie’s door as her palms were pulsing with sweat. She could hear footsteps approaching and braced herself to come face to face to the girl that she betrayed.

“Hey come in,” Julie greeted her dryly before turning back, not even making eye contact. The whole thing was just a space filled with awkward tension of anger and despair and love. Neither one fully knew how to start or where to begin but Christen knew she had to say something. “I’m sorry,” was all she could get out before tears began to form, “I didn’t mean this to happen.”

Julie sighed, hearing the sadness in her ex’s voice, “Just why, Christen? This whole thing doesn’t make sense. We were trying to fix our relationship, we were slowly building it back to where we started then you go do that! I leave town for one weekend and you already replace me.” Christen wanted to argue and tell Julie that she wasn’t trying to replace her but she knew this was all her fault so she didn’t fight it, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah you’ve kinda already said that. I just want a honest explanation like why you didn’t trust me going to Philadelphia? Why you thought I was the one cheating when all along it’s been you?” Julie questioned with her eyes closed trying so hard not to look at the girl she used to or still do love. 

Christen noticed how Julie wouldn’t look at her but she didn’t blame her, “I just...we were fighting so much over every small thing and then all of sudden you take this random trip to Philadelphia and I see that you’re with Zach, I guess I just jumped to conclusions and I’m sorry.”

“Okay so you jumped to conclusion but,” Julie finally lifted her head and connected their eyes, “why didn’t you call me? Why the hell did you go sleep with some old teammate like did you think that would be fair? And eye for an eye? Well if that was the case, that didn’t work out cause I never and would never cheat on you, Christen, I love you and I thought you loved me.”

“Jules...Julie, I do love you. I guess I just didn’t think, okay. I was hurting and I knew our relationship was rocky and I just wanted out so yes I was stupid for calling an old friend and going to get drinks. Yes I was stupid for letting her take me back to her apartment. I regret the entire thing, that’s why I told you the second you got home and told me about Zach’s mother. The guilt was overwhelming, I left her house in the middle of the night and I almost called you right then and there but I knew I had to do it in person.” Christen was practically in tears but tried to hold herself together cause she doesn’t want sympathy right now, “I don’t expect you to take me back, but I just want you to know that I have always loved you from last year at the World Cup to this exact moment. Remember at Tobin and Alex’s wedding, people kept asking us when we were gonna get married or get engaged and you and me always responded with ‘it’s not the right time’ or ‘we’re waiting’. I saw a future together.” Julie clasped her hands together in her lap trying to focus on anything else besides the pain in Christen’s voice, “I saw a future together also...now not so much. You broke me. I don’t feel love anymore, all I feel is pain and sadness and guilt. Yeah, I said guilt, because I feel like I could have done something more in our relationship, that I could have done something to prevent this even though I know this was all your fault.”

The pair fell into silence, both trying to think of what to say next.

“Where do we go from here?” Christen asked shyly.

“Act civil and try not to get kicked off this team.” Julie replied harshly.

“That’s it?”

Julie looked Christen dead in the eye, “Yeah that’s it.”

******

Slowly their teammates filed out of Mallory and Alex’s room until it was just Alex, Tobin, and Mallory left. “Alright, kid, I hope you keep getting call ups cause you’re hella fun,” Tobin pointed out as Alex cuddled into her side shaking her head.

“Yeah I hope I do too,” she responded with a nervous chuckle, “I mean I haven’t embarrassed myself yet have I?” Alex gave the younger forward a look of confusion, “Kid, you’ve done everything but embarrass yourself like Hope told us that Jill loves you and can’t wait to see how you do in a game situation so with that being said be prepared for Ireland coming up.”

******

After the trio talked for a little bit longer, Rose, Steph, and Sam came and took Mal to go to the ice baths since they had a hard day of training earlier that morning. Right after she left, Tobin smirked to herself. “Whatcha thinking about, babe?” Alex poked at her.

“We’re finally alone for what feels like forever. I mean like alone and not fighting. When was the last time this happened?”

Alex chuckled before placing a light kiss on her wife’s jaw, “I mean we had some pretty amazing make-up sex after Christmas if I remember correctly.” Tobin smirked at the memory pulling Alex closer to her, “That was pretty amazing but I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve just cuddled and enjoyed each other.”

“Oh so you just want to cuddle?” Alex raised an eyebrow, “I actually had a different idea.” She shifted her position so she was now sitting on Tobin’s lap, slowly she lifted her shirt over head leaving her only in a bra and some very small short shorts. “I mean I could be persuaded to do other things…” Tobin began but cutting herself off by trailing kisses down Alex’s neck and collarbone. 

Alex brought Tobin’s face back up to hers, “You better work fast cause ice baths only take so long and we don’t want to end up scaring the kid for life.” That was all Tobin needed to hear before flipping their positions and roughly shoving Alex’s shorts down to her ankles taking her underwear with her. With Alex basically naked under her, she began her work starting with removing the last piece of clothing from Alex’s breasts. “Beautiful,” Tobin mumbled into Alex’s hot skin as she moved her mouth to one of her already hardened nipples before taking it slowly into her mouth then giving the other the same treatment.

“Why-””am-””I the only-””one naked?” Alex finally got out in between moans working fast to get Tobin’s shirt off her.

******

The younger ones hate ice baths the most so they cut the time by five minutes without Dawn or any of the other trainers noticing. “Yo Pugh, were gonna go check out the shops just down the street before dinner, wanna come?” Steph asked.

“Yeah let me just go get my phone out of my room first,” Mallory replied taking off up the stairs to quickly grabbed her phone but ended up running into Hope in the hall, “Sorry, Hope!”

Hope gave her a small smile, “No big deal, why are you running though?”

“Oh I’m going to go to the shops with Steph, Sam, and Rose but I need to get my phone from my room first.” Hope shook her head while clicking her tongue, “Yeah I suggest you don’t.” Mallory tilted her head in confusion, “Why?”

“Alex and Tobin are in there and they were fighting for about three weeks plus not rooming together so let’s just say if you go in there you most likely will get scarred for life, ask Kelley.”

Mallory closed her eyes in disgust because she’s fine with all the couples on the team but she doesn’t need to know when they’re having sex, “Alright thanks, note taken, I’m going back downstairs.”


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter 9:

It was finally game day against Ireland and the team was excited to take the field together again. 

*****

"Babe, wake up," Tobin said softly nudging Alex's cheek with her nose. She managed to secretly ask Mal if it was okay if she slept in their room and the younger player had no problem with it. Usually Alex would sneak into Tobin's room but since she was rooming with Press she didn't think that would be the best thing. 

"Sleep," was all Alex replied with making Tobin laugh. 

"No, you need to get up. You know why?" Tobin paused to see if Alex would answer but she didn't, "Because it's your 100th cap and I can't wait to see with that captain armband on." She saw Alex smile slightly still trying to pretend she's asleep. "Maybe, later tonight you can model it for me..." Tobin whispered into her ear just in case Mallory was awake. 

"Hmm convincing, but I doubt we'll get either Press or Mal out of one of our rooms," Alex mumbled back, "Plus I wouldn't want to test your stamina like that...you might not have enough." 

Tobin faked gasp before placing a kiss on Alex's nose, "Ouch but we do need to get up because breakfast is in fifteen."

******

"Woot woot baby horse is at 100 caps!" Kelley hollered once the couple reached the breakfast room, "You're all grown up!" Alex shook her head flicking a grape at her, "Yeah yeah I'm old, I get it. If Cap was here, I would feel quite young still." The team got a laugh out of that, "I guess HAO and Hope have to take that role," Morgan poked. 

Most of the team were too busy cracking jokes to realize that Jill came in to address them, "Gals! I'm glad all of you are in a good mood but we do have a game today." That quieted everyone up. "Alright, first Alex, congrats on 100 and you'll be wearing the armband today. Second, remember six subs and I plan on using most if not all of them. Starters are..." Mallory listened intently hoping that she would hear her name get called even though it was highly unlikely. Jill said all eleven and Mallory dropped her shoulders in disappointed. 

"Hey don't worry. Just because you don't start doesn't mean you won't get in." Christen said next to her obviously noticing the disappointment. Mallory was caught off guard by the voice especially this was the first words that Christen has said to her the entire camp, "Thanks, I'm just hoping if I get in, I won't fuck up." Christen got a small laugh out of that, "You won't, trust me and if I'm on the field with you, I'll make sure to make you look good."

******

"I'm nervous..." Alex blurted aloud to Tobin as they sat in the closest Starbucks.

Tobin put down her drink, caught off guard by the comment, "Why? It's not like you haven't played in 99 games before this." She joked. Alex slightly glared at her before sighing deeply, "I know I just mean like this is my first time being a captain like I've never worn the armband before."

"Well get used to it cause I bet you're gonna be Orlando's captain." Tobin tried to just keep the conversation light because after knowing Alex for seven years, it's the only way to keep her calm. 

Alex rolled her eyes, "Hilarious but for real what happens if someone on our team gets angry and shit like aren't I suppose to talk to the ref and them and keep things calm?" 

"Lex, all of us are pretty well tempered people plus we all try to calm each other down. All you really have to do is call the coin flip right and look pretty for a picture." Tobin teased while playing with Alex's hand on the table, slowly rubbing her finger across the ring that sits perfectly on Alex's hand, "I'm surprised you haven't lost thing," Tobin added. 

Alex looked offended by the comment, "Seriously?" Tobin smirked shaking her head, "No, not seriously. Babe, we live together, the only time you take it off is to shower and go to bed." 

"And when we have sex," Alex quietly added matching Tobin's smirk. 

Tobin leaned back against her chair, "Hmm sometimes, you've definitely forgotten and I've ended up with diamond scratches on my body." 

They were both almost done with their drinks so Alex got up to throw her's away and as she walked past Tobin, she whispered into her ear, "At least I'm right handed or else that would really hurt." Tobin almost choked on her drink with wide eyes. Alex almost died laughing but kept it together, "You ready to go back, stud?"

******

The team loaded the bus and filed into the stadium, "Look at this grass." Kelley joked while petting the ground, "Now this is a stadium I can play in."

Once in the locker room, Mallory let it sink in seeing her jersey cleanly hanging with her name and number on it. 

Hope came up next to her since her number was right next to her's, "Pugh #2. I can hear announcers all over the world saying that after today." Mallory responded with a smile before sending a snapchat to all her best friends back home with the caption "freaking out".

Alex approached her locker no different then she has the other 99 times but this time the yellow armband was sitting on the bottom. 

"I still don't understand why it's yellow, you would think that it would be like red, white, or blue." Carli joked putting her hand on the young forward's shoulder, "Congrats again on 100 caps, you deserve it." Alex nodded with a smile, "Thanks Lloyd."

Everyone eventually went out to do warmups which were serious but they found way to joke around with them. Once Jill and the assistant coaches told them that they were good, all of them filed back into the locker room but some stopped to wave to the fans that were already there. 

Tobin came bounding up next to Alex right before she did her pregame visualizations, "Slow down, baby horse. I want one kiss before you go into that hypnotic state or whatever." Alex scrunched her nose pretending to think really hard about it, "Alright I guess you can have one." She gave her wife a chaste kiss which was good enough for Tobin to go back to her locker. 

******

Both teams lined up in the tunnel with Alex in the front and Hope right behind her, "Let's go kick some Irish butt."

"Don't say that to Kelley or HAO, these are their ancestors," Alex teased. 

Once on the pitch, Alex's 100th cap ceremony began and she was handed the jersey and flowers. All of her intermediate family were also there plus some of Tobin's. Tobin was smiling ear to ear as she watched her wife receive an gigantic applause from the crowd. 

Next the anthems were sung and kickoff happened. Carli scored in the early minutes and not long after, Alex assisted her for another goal. The half was coming to a close and with a 2-0 lead the team was confident. As the last minute ticked by, Alex got away from her defended and Carli served a perfect ball into her feet which Alex easily finished. It was her first goal of the 2016 year. Her teammates swarmed her smiling wide but they quickly dispersed to go back to reset. Tobin was the last one by her which she slyly gave her a butt tap and wink. 

Back in the locker room at half, Alex was extremely happy with not only her performance but her team's. Jill was also very happy and had little things to say to them. Mallory was getting anxious, wishing she would get subbed in before the half started but Jill didn't make any changes. 

Once the second half started, Jill walked down the bench stopping at a few players eventually getting to Mal, "Go warm up, kid, you're going in in about ten minutes."

Mallory shot up from her spot and went with the others, one being Christen, to get warm. Not long after, Christen was subbed in along with Mal, "You got it, Pugh, it's just you and a ball." 

Christen, none the less, scored in less than five minutes coming onto the field. Mal felt confident, feeling like she was doing all that she could and wasn't messing up. As time ticked on, she had a few chances but nothing really amounted until Christen took the ball endline before sending it back across frame which left Mallory with an easy header to finish. 

"OH MY GOD!" Mallory screamed out without trying and immediately ran into Christen's arm. Alex stood with the rest of her teammates on the sideline, proud of the teenager for scoring in her first cap. Tobin was also smiling like an idiot for the girl. 

The final whistle blew and the team congratulated each other on the win before changing, showering, and heading back to the hotel. Christen decided to take Mal with her to go get some post-game food and a few of the other gals joined but Tobin and Alex stayed. Tobin noticed something was on Alex's mind as they watched TV in her room, "What's up, Lex?"

"Uh? Nothing." She replied snapping out of her daze but by the look Tobin gave her, she knew that wasn't believable, "I don't know. I guess I just wished I was in the field when Pugh scored."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just felt like me and Mal had this big sister, little sister bond going but now her and Christen are all close."

Tobin couldn't hold back her small chuckle, "Babe, the kid is 17 or almost 18 she's just another player honestly. She doesn't need us to be her sisters, just be happy for her and be her friend."

"Or maybe Press just has a habit of taking things I'm close to from me..." Alex mumbled under her breath but Tobin heard it. 

"Really, Lex? Press hasn't taken anything from you."

Alex rolled over to look at her wife, "She tried to take you."

Tobin was confused because Alex was fine with their thing but now it doesn't seem like it, "What do you mean? She was the one that said no strings attached."

"I talked to JJ. You know just to see how she was doing and she confided to me about what it actually meant to Press because they were friends shortly after that fling you two had ended."

"Okay what did she say?"

"She said Christen actually had feelings for you but since you didn't want that and you were going to Paris, she never told you. I don't know if those feelings are still there but you meant something to her, Tobs."

Tobin was shocked to hear this, "Oh," she paused not knowing what to say, "I love you though and only you." Alex smiled and planted a kiss on her jaw, "I know but after what Press did to JJ, I can't really look at her in the same way." 

"Don't pick sides please. That won't help."

Alex bit her lower lip and gave Tobin an innocent look, "Uh..."

"What did you do?"

"I may have told JJ that she shouldn't take Press back after that."


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter 10:

"Alex, you didn't?" Tobin pleaded with her wife after she found out that Alex told JJ not to take Press back. 

"I can't let JJ go back to a cheater, it hits too close to home." Alex tried to bury her head into Tobin's chest to hide but Tobin pushed her away, "I know it's a personal matter for you, but this is a different couple, different scenario. We need to let our friends figure it out for themselves. We can't intervene." She knew Alex still wasn't sold on idea, "Babe, when Servando cheated on you, none of us tried to convince you to stay or go. We let you decide because we all knew that you would do what you thought was best. Let JJ do what she wants. Okay?"

Alex let out a sigh and pulled Tobin close, this time she didn't get pushed away, "Okay."

******

"Olympic qualifying, she believes cup, send-off series, Olympics, wedding..." Kelley rambled off as she packed her bags since they leave California tomorrow. Hope laughed at her fiancée's antics especially since they technically haven't qualified for the Olympics, "Confident, much?"

Kelley bounded over to the bed, bending down to be face to face with her love, "Yes because with you in goal it's hard to lose." 

******

Christen and Mal got back from getting food relatively early since they had to leave the next day. 

"Not bad for your first cap." Christen joked with the younger girl slightly shoving her. Mallory gave a small chuckle before regaining her balance, "I'm just glad I didn't trip over my own feet or the ball." 

The two continued walking through the lobby eventually reaching the elevators, but neither had to hit the button because an elevator opened.

"Fuck..." JJ whispered under her breath has she became face to face with Christen, "I was just trying to go get some toothpaste from the front desk," she thought to herself. 

Mallory noticed what was happening and even though she was told to not get involved with the drama, she had to do something. Thinking fast on her feet, she shoved Christen into Julie who was still in the elevator making them collide into the back wall. "Mal!" Christen gasped. She had to be speedy so she quickly started to hit the up/down buttons in a pattern that would force the elevator to close and "break down". Before either of the two could regain enough balance the doors where shutting on them. As the final gap closed, Mallory smiled at herself, "Thank you tumblr for that trick."

******

"Shit that kid is smart," JJ mumbled mostly to herself, "I'm gonna call the emergency people to restart the elevator." Right before she hit the call button, Christen's phone went off.

"Don't bother calling for help, I already got clearance from the front desk to do this. I guess being apart of the national team does have its perks. Xoxo" - Mal

"Really fucking smart," Christen added showing JJ the text."

The two sat in silence for a minute or two before one of them became anxious, "Julie, she did this so we could talk, you know?" 

JJ sat in silence, of course she knew why Mal did this but it didn't mean they had to talk, "I know."

******

"Meet me in the lobby. ASAP." - Mal

All the couples received that text plus Morgan, Kling, and HAO. Eventually everyone made it down and found each other waiting. "Alright, kid, what did you do?" HAO asked being one of the oldest. 

"So I may have stranded JJ and Press in an elevator but..." No one let her continue after that. 

"What?"  
"Why?"  
"Mal!"  
"Genius," that last one came from Kling who received glares from the rest of her friends. 

Mallory held up her hands in a defensive matter, "Look I'm sorry that I intervened," Tobin threw a look at Alex almost secretly saying 'this is why I didn't want you intervening either', "but they need to solve this and I just gave them a push."

Morgan laid a hand on the shorter gal, "I mean come on guys, we shoved you and Alex in a closet to confess your feelings so this isn't the first time." Mallory held back her laughter from hearing about that incident for the first time.

Tobin sighed, "But the problem was we already were dating when that happened and not fighting."

"Alright how bout we give it twenty minutes and if we see nothing happening," Mallory clicked a tab on the lobby computer showing a security cam in the elevator, "we let them out."

No one questioned how she got access to the live footage but they all agreed pulling chairs to gather round with. 

******

"I'm sorry," Christen tried to start again. 

"I know," was all she got as a replied. 

"I still love you, I've never stopped loving you. Every morning I wake up in an empty bed only hoping it's all a dream. I wish I could just wake up and rewind the clock to Alex and Tobin's wedding and stop from all my stupid mistakes from happening. Seeing you is like seeing my guilt in person. Every cute couple I see on the street, I cringe at because I used to have that, we used to have that. We were never perfect Tobin and Alex, we were never totally in love Ashlyn and Ali, we were never the problematic couple that worked Kelley and Hope, we were Julie and Christen and we were unique. We were are own couple, we had something special. Just tell me right now if you don't love me anymore, just tell me and I'll leave you alone. But if you do still love me, I still have hope for us."

Julie shut her eyes, taking in her ex's words, trying to understand what this all meant. Alex told her to not give her a second chance but it's not her relationship, it's her own. She heard a faint whisper come from Christen, "Jules, please?"

"I will always love you..." She began, "but I need time. I need space. If you truly still love me, you will wait, wait till I'm ready to take you back because I want us again but I can't just put my heart back on my sleeve this quickly."

Christen felt tears forming, "I will wait a month, a year, ten years, however long it takes to be back with you." 

Julie bit her lip to try to fight back the tears also because she so badly wanted to be strong in this moment, "But I just need to do something." She opened her eyes and leaned close to Christen cupping her hand on Christen's chin. Christen was the one who had her eyes shut now waiting to feel what Julie was doing. Julie slowly brought their lips together in a searing kiss trying to put all her emotions and feelings into one touch and Christen tried to do the same. After breaking the kiss, Julie rested their foreheads together, "I love you but time is all I need."

"I know, I understand."

Right then the elevator started to move again. 

******

"I feel like I'm invading their privacy," Kelley stated as they continued to watch the two players talk it out. 

"Wow for once you feel like you're invading someone's privacy," Hope joked planting a kiss on the side of her head. 

Mallory made eye contact with Ali who she hasn't had much time to talk to this camp but she received a small smile and slight nod which made her feel like what she was doing was the right thing to do. Once the two started kissing, HAO quickly closed the screen cause like there was a 17 year old watching, "Alright, kid, good job because they seemed to reach an agreement but that doesn't mean you get to intervene whenever one of the couples or players have an argument."

"I understand, I just felt like this was getting dragged on too long and I wanted to help." Mallory replied innocently before signaling to the front desk to restart the elevator. 

"You did good, kid, you did good," Alex smiled rubbing Mal's hair, "but it's late so Tobin, coming?" Tobin quickly patted Mallory on the back before following Alex to the elevators. 

Eventually everyone went back to the elevators and up to their room until it was just Mal and Hope left, "Before I say anything I'm not mad, this is just a warning kinda. Be careful of how or when you use the whole 'I'm on the USWNT bit' it can easily backfire or get you unwanted attention. Also Jill wanted me to tell you that if you keep playing like you did today, a starting spot may just have your name on it."


End file.
